I’m with you Gizfield on the “crap treating relationships

She poked at me for decades and I made the excuse that at least she had a good heart. BullS#!+. She was just waiting for the kill shot. She saw an opening with our e the OW’s best friend and ally. She, the OW, and her mother would lunch and shop together. My MIL frequently visited the OW’s and her M’s home for get togethers. It’s as if the 3 of them were in cahoots to reunite the long lost teenage lovers….boy do I feel like I was the “stupid wife” when I think of all this garbage. NO MORE of that! I now have FIRM boundaries. That’s the most applicable lesson I have learned.

For crying out loud: your MIL sounds like a carbon copy of mine. She still talks to the OW and goes to lunch and outings. I think it is disrespectful and have told her so. She told me I have no right to tell her who she can be friends with. I just know, that the OW still has a way to gain info on me and my husband and out life. It makes me physically ill that she can be ap heartless. She told me that she was friends with other woman for 12 years. Ya, guess what, I’ve been your daughter in law for 22

Sometimes since all the fog has lifted for me due to his ea, I feel like I was cheap, dtd with him while he was in love with her, while he came back home yet still saw her etc, I feel like I am the one who was cheapened

Carol, thanks so much for sharing your story. I didnt mean to stir up bad memories, but I think there is a lot to be learned from “adultery” stories that have played out to their conclusion. It’s usually NOT Pretty in any way. It would be a great blog topic I think: real life adultery stories and the generational damage they caused. My own (birth) mother was an adulterer. She caused a lot of damage to all four of her children. She was married, had a son and daughter, divorced he husband. Met a college boy, got pregnant, had me. They never married, I never have met him.

Or I wonder how he could have touched the ow at all, and if he really loved me and wanted to be with me, why the he’ll did he keep the contact with her for so long and watch me fall apart

part 2–I was given up for family member adoption at 13 months. It gets kind of sketchy here. She left her two older children with her mother and moved 2000 miles or so to California. Supposedly spent time in a mental institution. After that, she was babysitting for a lady she met in there. Became pregnant withthe lady’s husband’s child. Nice. Wife commits suicide. Even nicer. My sister casamento Dominicanos mulheres eventuallybecame a ward of the state and was in foster care. My mother left her in California and came back here, of course she claims she didnt abandon her. . At the age of six, she was adopted by a nice family, thank god.

Great idea for a topic. I have never heard anyone, anywhere utter the phrase “My extramarital affair turned out really well for all concerned.” Sounds like your mom caused a lot of pain and chaos all around. I’m so sorry. And I’m glad that you and your sister had good adoptions.

Correct Trying, it is usually a sexual phase, re-connection or re-claiming of each other some partners go through after infidelity is discovered and the CS re-commits to the marriage. It has been characterized as being animistic, passionate, and instinctive. This phase usually only lasts for a few months and then the anger phase sets in over what the CS did.

Just wondering is anyone else having trouble seeing past all the lies that were told to you by your h/w? Sometimes I find myself looking at my h and just wondering “are you telling me the truth with what you say to me?” Sometimes I look at my h and think “how could you do what you did to us”. Sometimes I catch myself trying to find the man I fell in love with, not this person that took his place. Although I love him, I’m hesitant at believing the things he says. Sometimes I think to myself, do I want this man that hurt me so much, even when I was the one fighting for us for so long. I find myself wondering am I really enough for him. Am I fighting a losing battle because she is his family. Sometimes I catch myself distancing myself and wondering are my feelings starting to change towards him. I am finding this somewhat daunting because I know I love this man more than life itself and I can’t stand the thought of not having him in my life, yet sometimes I feel like I have lost something so important to me, and if only he hadn’t of lied for so long maybe I wouldn’t be feeling this way now. I don’t know, because I don’t understand any if it. I feel like one that I cheapened myself, even though I truly wanted to be close to him, and I so desperately wanted him. Its stupid feeling that way especially now when I look back on it and it is now I feel like that. Tell me I’m not alone in feeling this way.